Shoot the Publicist

The December issue of the SAP magazine had a full page advert from Hyfas (see the panel at the bottom of their homepage). What conclusions can we draw from that advert?

1. They do not speak English - "Be right!". This may be a problem when implementing SAP.
2. They don't know how to shoot an arrow, nor even how to hold a bow! What exactly are they expecting us to consult them about and how far will they take it?

The site is equally awful, with trite pseudo-English sound-bites in abundance. I hope their consultants are better than their publicists.

Telepac Stinks!

Coloquei o seguinte comentário no "feedback form" de apoio a clientes de Telepac esta manhã:

1. A resposta (ao pedido de assistência) foi "É favor voltar a ligar mais tarde porque estamos sem sistema". Assim o serviço ao cliente NÃO FUNCIONA!
2. Respondi "não" a perguntas 3 e 5. Uma vez que a página não aceita carácteres Portugueses (nem nas respostas pré-definidas pela Telepac), o impresso não pode ser entregue! Espero que Paulo Azevedo consegue dar a volta à incompetência sistemática demonstrada!!

Reacção do sistema: "A resposta à pergunta nº9 não pode ultrapassar 255 carácteres"!

Que idiotas!

Double Standards

It seems that my complaints about justice are always football related, but once again it's time to speak out about the ridiculous sentences handed out to footballers.

Twenty other drivers were caught in the police checks the other night, but none of them got off so lightly as Luisão. Why should he get special treatment? He wasn't just a little over the alcohol limit, he was so drunk that he was arrested on the spot! Imagine the court's treatment of any other Brazilian immigrant in these circumstances, or a person who drives for a living. An immediate ban would be automatically handed out.

Worse than the lack of punishment is the example given by Luisão himself. Footballers are the idols of the young. How is it possible that he sets such a poor example? The only professional footballer I have contact with is shadowed everywhere by an assistant/manager. Surely Luisão (or Benfica) has the money to hire a driver for nights out if he wants to drink.

Once again we see an example of what keeps this warm and welcoming country firmly in the past. Justice. For whom?

New Year, No Resolutions

Long time since my last post - simultaneously a sign of being busy and even having some other distractions; there is life beyond the net after all.

So I hope all(!) my faithful readers don't mind my wishing them a belated Merry Christmas (or equivalent) and a Happy New Year (if you happen to be using the same calendar as I do). Here's to a better 2007 than 2006.

High point of 2006: breaking 100 at golf for the first time. Low point: Grampy's abrupt demise. What will 2007 have in store? No resolutions, that's for sure, keep on flying by the seat of my pants for the moment.

As for the faithful, that's Jorge, Bev, Eme and sundry lurkers from Faro and Alhos Vedros (Telepac) or Carnaxide (Optimus), I hope I can find something minimally interesting to write about. Had plenty of ideas over the holiday season, but too much to do to sit at the computer and write. We'll see...

Groundfarce Lisbon

It is a long time since TAP outsourced its handling operations. Unfortunately, I have found that the current contractor is awful, and I mean awful.

Take the return from my UK trip last weekend. A fairly full TAP Airbus 319 was duly met, out in the sticks, by its bus and refuelling truck. But where was the baggage lift? We were already all on the bus when the lift trundled up, and took six (yes 1+1+1+1+1+1!) attempts to line the lift up with the baggage hatch. I didn't get to see the operator open the hatch because we were already on our way to the terminal.

Inside the terminal, passport control is much improved from the old days when the few non-Schengen (i.e. UK) flights used to face only two surly SEF employees, with huge queues and grumbling passengers, so it was off to baggage reclaim.

Fifteen minutes later the first bags arrived, one container's worth. And they kept arriving, one container at a time for 40 minutes! Did Groundforce only have one trailer available to bring the containers from the plane, or only one baggage handler to unload the bags from the containers?

And then there was the state of the baggage. Burst vanity cases, broken trolley handles. I was lucky to get away with a rather wet bag which had only lost one zip pull. It wasn't raining in either Heathrow or Lisbon, so I don't know where the water came from. I had never seen such a sorry set of bags going round a reclaim carrousel.

It's a good business technique - outsourcing non-core operations - but there has to be measurement of the quality of the sub-contractor's service. None of us would choose our airline based on the company that does the handling at either end of the trip, but that doesn't mean that the airlines should wash their hands of the question of customer service in this area.

Not many posts recently because life has been bit out of hand for some time now. To add to the studies (so far so good) and a major project at work, I've just got back from an unexpected trip to the UK for a grandfather's funeral. I'm not much of an eulogy writer, suffice to say that he will be missed by many (many more than I imagined) and was fortunate to go quickly and virtually painlessly, as he had wished.

The funeral was an opportunity to meet many of Mum's family members that I had heard of but never met, mostly hearty, friendly, down-to-earth Shropshire folk, although not without the inevitable twit, who will remain nameless but won't be on next year's Christmas list.

And if I had stayed until Christmas, I would probably have got to see the newest addition to the family, due on December 23.

I was tempted to witter on about the "circle of life", but what all these family members (and the twit) brought home to me is how few children people are having nowadays. I've done my bit for the continuation of the species, but the family members were mostly cousins of Mum's generation, hardly any of which have children, let alone grandchildren. And the twit wittered on about the invasion of the immigrants and their influence on criminality! If the "natives" don't have children and are not prepared to do certain types of work, who does she expect will do it? And aren't the vandals and petty criminals usually children of "natives"!

Anyway. Rant over. Back to my studies...

Imagem do Dia

RTP1 - Jornal da Tarde: Marques Mendes atrás de um pódio com a lema actual do PSD: "Pensar em Grande".

Excelente!

Home Concert Hall

Bang & Olufsen are making some startling claims with their Beolab 5 stereo loudspeakers, which apparently detect the acoustic qualities of the room they are placed in and have acoustic lenses to mould the sound for an optimal listening experience!

Well they certainly look good, if you're into Daleks. As for the listening experience, I will have to pluck up courage to enter one of their intimidating, minimalist shops, and make sure I leave my credit card at home.

Uncivil Servant

Sitting in the queue for the bridge this morning, a white car came trundling up the hard shoulder and pushed in in front of me. To show my total integration into local driving habits, I hooted at it.

The driver got out and walked back to me, flashing a wallet full of official-looking documents. "You can't hoot. Can't you see that this car belongs to the State?" I was gobsmacked, but bit my tongue, thinking, "Yes, because it's an unmarked white car DRIVEN BY A COMPLETE MORON!" If I had time, I would have tried to get details of his identification and workplace, so that I could complain to his boss but, quite frankly, what's the point?

I've complained before about this phenomenon. Until this sort of attitude is dealt with, Portugal will have problems convincing visitors that it is not a third world country. Fortunately the welcoming nature of the other 90% of the population goes a long way towards that goal.

Sexy Phones

OK. The first phone is an unsexy, but solid, Nokia 6021. It's what I'm using now, since I dropped my Palm Treo 650. The Nokia is a very good phone, not trying to be a camera or an MP3 player, just very good at what it does, with a huge battery life and a nice anti-slip coating that means it takes fewer tumbles than most phones.

The second is the ultimate luxury phone, a Vertu Constellation, about 4,000 euros, so they say, in its basic steel and leather version. Wouldn't surprise me if it has the same basic hardware as my phone, but improved software and an extra button for calling a concierge service - very useful!

The right-hand phone is my vote for the current sexiest "normal" phone - the Nokia 8800 Sirocco, which pushes the ultra-thin Motorola V3 into second place. Can't find a price for it yet though. I've never found anybody who is a staunch fan of the Motorola software yet, whereas Nokia's interface is frequently cited as the main reason for not changing brands.

So if I had 600 euros to spend on a new phone, what would I buy? Another Palm Treo 650! Not even remotely sexy, so no photo, but it functions (badly) as a camera or MP3 player and very well for storing huge numbers of contacts, appointments, tasks and emails and even surfing the net if in dire need. Have to get mine fixed...